you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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