i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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