I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
