i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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