i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
