is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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