Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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