my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
This baby is an asshole
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
