I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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