My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
