Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
