at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize