I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
