end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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