Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
