Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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