so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You can't motorboat a personality
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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