He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
