? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
