new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
