Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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