But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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