You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
