This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
