I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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