The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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