just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
