Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize