I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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