Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
