I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
