no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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