Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize