there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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