I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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