p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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