I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
