so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
