I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
