you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
