i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
There's always time for handjobs
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize