Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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