So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Vodka?
Forever.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
