Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
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