I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This is the prime rib incident all over again
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
