I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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