my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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