Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
