i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The power of my boobs compel you
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
