btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
