I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
