I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
