the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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