It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
