she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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