i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I have fence marks all over my body
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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