The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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