I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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