It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
