I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
