after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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