He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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