okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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