yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
operation have a gay friend backfired
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize