PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize
