The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
