Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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