I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Damn victory sex feels great
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize