Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
