Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
