Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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