Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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