Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
